Men and women do use language differently. Trenholm states, men bond through physical activites while women bond through talk on page 91. Men find a bond while playing sports with other men and finding common ground through testing their guy's limits and reliability. During sports you have to depend on others and work together, if guys cant even play a basketball game together it is easy to say there wont be a bond to find either. Women love to talk, and love to express themselves verbally. When i go to a coffee shop, i see a ratio of a many, many more women than men sitting and talking.
A personal example would have to be a comparison with my older brother and I. I am very chatty, outspoken and am always asking questions. My brother keeps very much to himself, if no one talks to him then he wont talk to anyone. He is very introverted while i am extroverted. He does not easily disclose personal information, you got to ask a million questions to get a little bit of information. He loves his own time, he doesnt need to be around a lot of people to feel happy, he likes his alone time. I on the other hand, if i am alone for too long I question why? I like my alone time too, but I love interacting with others more.
Here are some hints of his language to others that he does'nt know that i have noticed. Whenever he is fighting with his girlfriend he plays video games for hours and house at a time. He likes to distract himself in his virtual world. I hear him up late and i know he is going through something with her. I on the other hand need to talk about it if i am fighting with a significant other. I cant just play a game to feel better, i need to vent. Men and women communicate similar needs just in different behaviors.
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