The first time I had heard of a cyber space relationship was from my basketball teammate Kris who had a boyfriend who she met online. This was during the time Instant Messaging and Screen names were very popular. She told me he was going to move from Utah to California to be with her. I was very shocked and surprised because I could not imagine moving states for someone i have never met in person. Their relationship moved from the computer to the telephone and eventually he came to visit her once and a while and I had the opportunity to meet him. He was a very nice, older guy, he was 18 while we were 15 and 16.
I did not approve of the relationship honestly, she was very lucky he was not some 60 year old pervert who had psychological issues.
Looking back on my own friendships and the process in which I create friends I do not make friends online, I trust people if we hang out together and learn about one another face to face. I am not saying all people who are online have hidden agendas or that face to face friendships always work out, but for me making good, trustworthy, friends is about doing activities together, spending time with the family, and being their for one another in person and not being infront of a screen is how I create friendships.
I wouldn't say to never make a friend using AIM or Facebook or Myspace, because it does happen and i think its great for others, but for me I do not feel i truly get to know the person without spending time with them and doing activities together such as movies or hearing their sarcasm through face to face interaction.
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I completely agree with your post. I too prefer to make friends in person as opposed to online. I have continued relationships online after meeting face to face though. It takes a lot to gain my trust so I would have a hard time trusting people I met online. This class is probably the first class that I have consistently talked with people I have never met in person. I think because it is a class, there is a certain level of security.
ReplyDeleteI found the story about your friend very interesting. Did her parents know her boyfriend was coming to visit? If yes, that surprises me that they would be okay with it. I guess every person has their own level of comfort.
I agree with your post also. I have had friends that met someone online through chat rooms. Their relationships developed through instant messaging to meeting in person. Then one of the two is moving to live closer to the other. It is so strange to me. I could never personally have a relationship without having that initial face to face meeting. Your friend is lucky that this guy wasn't some old pervert. My niece on the other hand met some man that is old enough to be her grandfather online. They had a secretive relationships which existed in cyberspace. Then out of the blue, she packed up all her stuff and he picked her up. She left behind her cell phone and didn't leave any contact information for her mom or our family. It was a terrifying situation. In the end the face to face relationship was not a success and she is now home again but it was a perfect example for me why cyberspace relationships are not always good.
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